fast forward three whole months.
here we are.
december twenty-second.
so many emotions have been spent between september and now.
my heart has been reborn and it has also been broken,
within these 85 days since i last posted.
just to catch you up to speed, this is how things have been:
a very pregnant, cranky me, along with my husband and our
then 1 year old and 3 year old relocated to a cozy little condo.
{ in October, Miss Chloe turned 2 & Bailey turned 4 in November }
our dear home's a/c unit decided it would have a major freon leak in the final days of my pregnancy, resulting in an immediate evacuation for
THREE DAYS.
[ imagine waking up in a thick cloud of smoke
that smells like a mechanics garage. ]
a day and a half after returning to our
humble { not-quite-unpacked } abode, my husband and i ventured
off to the hospital in the wee hours of the morning to
a scheduled c-section delivery.
our beautiful son,
Porter McKay was born at 8:12 am on october 18th,
at a sturdy 9 pounds 1 ounce and 19 3/4 inches long.
we had a bit of a scare when he came out.
there was no cry and the nurses and doctors
would not respond to my questions.
he had passed meconium in utero and manage
to gulp quite a bit of it down.
he was unable to breath and had to be resuscitated.
also, after having
MRSA and
sepsis after
my previous c-section, my uterus and surrounding tissue
were so covered in adhesions that the doctor
ended up needing to perform a classical
[ up and down ] incision on my uterus.
he wasn't even able to cut in the middle.
the adhesions were so bad, he had to make the
cut about three inches below
and to the right of my belly button.
after surgery i was told that if i were to
become pregnant again that i will most likely
end up having to have an emergency hysterectomy
immediately after delivery and that
is apparently the least of my worries.
upon returning home four days after delivery,
we attended my beloved grandparents 60th anniversary party,
which was organized as a reunion
with their four children, their children and their childrens children.
[ i can't believe i managed to say 'children' 4 times in one sentence . . . ]
after the anniversary/reunion,
my grandfather's health continued to deteriorate.
dementia started to get the better of him.
he could no longer perform peritoneal dialysis on his own at home,
so the doctor decided it was time for *hemodialysis.
[ *side note* hemodialysis is a living hell. i've been on it.
. . . i know there are many things that are worse but personally,
i truly feel it is nearly a fate worse than death. ]
the doctor seemed hopeful that it would
improve grandpa's quality of life
and would even help with the dementia.
i wish he would have been right.
i could tell you a lot more about the final days of his life,
but out of respect for my family as well as my memory of him,
i have chosen to only share the memories of one special weekend.
it was two weekends prior to when he passed.
my aunt came down from colorado to
help my mom and my grandma take care of my grandpa.
his strength had weakened greatly and falling
was becoming a common occurrence.
on friday night, my grandpa had made the decision,
after many days of careful consideration and prayer,
to discontinue dialysis.
it was not helping him, nor improving his situation.
he felt it was more like life support and had decided
some time before that, he did not want to be kept
on any form of life support.
that night, i went to my grandparents
without my husband and children.
my grandpa, my grandma, my mom,
my aunt and i had a nice dinner together.
we laughed and cried and shared precious memories
but most importantly,
we knew it was time to say goodbye.
my grandpa turned to me at the table after dinner,
his eyes filled with tears and said
'Kari'
he opened his arms and i embraced him
and together we cried.
i told him of the great love and admiration i have for him
and that i was going to miss him
so very, very much.
over the weekend my family and i joined together
with my grandparents at their home and enjoyed dinner together,
a tradition we have held my entire life.
we took pictures, each one of us all the way down to baby Porter,
with my grandpa.
i knew they would be something wonderful to have,
but now that he is gone,
they are
TRULY
a treasure.
he passed peacefully november 23, the eve of thanksgiving.
my grandma was by his side.
he lived a long and wonderful life.
he was eighty and had been with his love for sixty of those years.
after his passing, my family and i worked hard
to make his memorial as lovely as we could.
he had asked my aunt to put together his life sketch
and he asked me to read it during the memorial service.
with the incredible responsibility of summing up
such a great man's life into a few paragraphs,
i'm sure you can understand that my aunt
was a bit overwhelmed, as well as worried
that she wouldn't be able to put down
everything that needed to be said.
as she sat down to collect her thoughts,
she found herself at a stand still.
she didn't know where to start.
then it came to her . . .
she went into my grandpa's office
and there in a file cabinet along with
work papers and such, she found the jackpot.
twelve years ago, he had begun writing his very own life sketch.
along with that, she also found journal pages he had kept
as well as handwritten talks he had given in church.
we believe he guided her that day to these wonderful papers.
i would like to share with you a few excerpts
that were included in his sketch:
childhood:
“When I was about 9 years old, Dad bought me a Shetland pony
to use to bring the cattle into the corral after grazing in the pasture.
However, after a few months,
the horse got smart and he would try to bite and kick me.
He knew that he could scare me, and when that happened,
I would have to walk to bring the cows in.
If you have ever walked cows, you know it is important
to have the cows in on time.
Dad thought I was goofing off, and I was spoken to very sternly
and told not to let it happen again.
I tricked the pony for several days with oats,
but he soon caught on to my motives.
This went on for several days, with me trying
my best to get the horse to cooperate, but to no avail.
I spent a lot of time on my feet.
That pony was downright mean.
I kept telling Dad why I was late,
but he thought I was afraid to ride the horse.
One day, unknown to me or the horse,
he watched as I went through the usual ritual of biting,
pawing and kicking to get the bridle and saddle on.
When Dad stepped in the door of the barn, the horse was surprised,
and he nuzzled me like he was my best friend.
To make a long story short, the horse was sold
and the problem of getting the cows in late was cured.
I spent many an hour living the stories
that I heard on the radio while bringing in the cows.
The Lone Ranger, Roy Rogers, Gene Autry and Tom Mix
were my favorite heroes and there were many
fond memories of cattle rustlers creeping up on me.”
meeting the love of his life:
Lloyd graduated from Snake River High School in 1949
and worked on his father’s farm as a ranch hand.
In September of 1950, he and his friends went to the movies in Blackfoot,
where they sat behind Marcia Wallace and her friends.
The next part of this story has 2 versions.
Lloyd’s version holds that Marcia swung her scarf back
and caught him by the neck and never let go . . .
Marcia’s Story, the one most believe,
involves Lloyd pulling her scarf until she finally spoke to him.
engagement:
When Lloyd and Marcia became engaged,
they were unable to set a wedding date because of
Lloyd’s tentative plans to enlist in the service.
Upon completion of boot camp, Lloyd had better
understanding of his deployment schedule and
wrote letters to Marcia and his parents detailing his plans.
Obviously, the letters were different.
Marcia’s contained an official proposal and suggested a marriage date,
while his parents letter was direct and straightforward
and advised them of his pending return and intended marriage date.
Unfortunately, Lloyd placed the letters in the wrong envelopes
and sent the letter meant for his parents, to Marcia
and the letter intended for Marcia, to his parents.
Although embarrassing, the situation was resolved
and the couple married on October 19, 1951.
and finally:
The following excerpt from his personal papers
includes these thoughts about his father:
“I think I owe Dad a lot because he taught me
how to accept responsibilities and along with those responsibilities,
goes the hard work that builds character and stability and leaves
its mark on you for the best and helps carry you through life.”
We couldn’t have said it better about Lloyd.
He set and example for all of us by daily demonstrations
of honoring responsibility and family.
He was a man of integrity, who believed that a
firm handshake still meant something.
Lloyd is survived by his wife of 60 years, his sister, his 4 children and their
spouses, as well as 15 grandchildren and 14 great grandchildren.
Lloyd was a kind and gentle man.
A wonderful husband, father, grandfather and friend.
He will be greatly missed.
. . . it's hard to say much of anything after reading that again.
i sure miss him.
fast forward from then to friday, december 2nd.
i was busy cleaning up around the house,
when my husband came walking through our door around noon.
. . . he was fired from his job.
we decided to look at it as more of a blessing than a bad thing.
although it may be terrifying at times,
and money is [ EXTREMELY ] tight,
we finally found the right time for him to return to school
to pursue his masters degree in mechanical engineering.
for now we are just doing the best we
can and relying on our Faith to get us by.
after word got out about our situation,
several people took it upon themselves to be
our ministering angels.
on a sunday night, a few weeks ago
we heard the doorbell ring.
the person had run off but had left
a most precious, thoughtful and gracious gift.
when Chester brought it in, we both wept.
tied to each branch, was a one dollar bill . . .
100 dollars to be exact.
a few days later, a couple that is very dear to us
sent a Christmas card to us that read:
"we hope you have
a wonderful Christmas!
may 2012 be a great year
and bring you many blessings.
hope this can help
make Christmas merry . . ."
enclosed
was a check for
100 dollars.
[ you bet your booty,
we wept again. ]
this holiday season,
i encourage all of us to do a little extra.
whether it be letting someone in ahead of
you in the busy line at the store,
or even just a simple smile and a kind word
to someone who looks down on their luck.
you never know the impact you may have on someone's life,
good, bad or otherwise.
also,
give each person you love just one extra squeeze.
life is precious.
{ don't let things or feelings
get in the way of the
love you have for someone. }
Happy Christmas,
Happy Hanukkah,
Happy Kwanza
and a Fabulous
Festivus for the Restofus.
