i try to take one day at a time, but sometimes several days attack me at once.- unknown

it's totally and completely been one of those days. 

no . . . one of those weeks. 

actually come to think of it, 

it's just been one of . . . those . . . for awhile now. 

i got up tonight to 

{FINALLY}

take a shower after my husband returned home from work and when i looked in 

the mirror, i'm pretty sure this is what i saw

 staring back through the reflection . . . 

needless to say, i'm ready to have my stress level reduced.

not only is it personal issues, but financial, 

as well as family (grandpa is still not exactly on the mend), 

nicely coupled with the thought of getting this c-section.

i'm so ready to be done with this pregnancy and hold my sweet baby boy

in my arms, but the thought of going in willingly, 

awake while they cut me open 

{AGAIN}

is not exactly my dream come true.

especially when the realization hits me that it will be in a little over a month.

i'm terrified. 

plus i'm afraid if some of the other stresses in my life don't start to give, 

when i go in for my scheduled c-section that i might just up and lose it.

with my last baby, i was scheduled to have a c-section 

but went into labor 2 weeks early. 

i had to wait for about 2 hours until the O.R. was finally ready for me 

(lots of emergencies that night)

and the wait was enough to kill me. they ended up having to pump me full of all 

sorts of nerve-chilling type meds because i was faaa-reaking out.

ANYWAY

sorry for the pity party. 

just needed to get that stuff off my chest.

things could always be a worse, so i suppose i am grateful for the hardships i have,

because in the grand scheme of things, they really aren't that bad.