{today was hard} most days, being a mom just comes naturally, but today . . . i really struggled to not just run away, screaming at the top of my lungs, tearing my hair out in clumps. my three year old was very much
. . . alive . . . today. even after i got him and my daughter down for a nap and was able to rest, i had a dream that i was at church and my husband was nowhere to be found for hours. in the dream i went in the restroom and my skirt had fallen off of my backside without my knowledge and no one had told me. on top of that, i lost my kids there and every time i would find them, they would run away and disappear again. when i woke up, i was ready to pull the covers over my head and feel sorry for myself the rest of the night. then i heard the sweet sound of my kids giggling while their dad was tickling them. i decided to start the day over. somedays, it's so hard to remember that things may not always go smoothly, but each day with these kids is such a blessing. one day i'll look back on these days when the kids are all grown up and i'm sure i would give anything to relive even the days that are a little intense. after all, my son will never be 3 again. he won't always have that innocent sparkle in his eyes and i won't always see the same look of wonder in his expression when he experiences something new for the first time.
here is an article i found over at What to Expect:
Being a mom is hard and I don’t think any mother will dispute this fact.
It’s physically, emotionally, and mentally demanding.
It can wear you down,
wear you out, and wear you away.
Being a mom is hard for so many reasons.
Physically? A full night’s sleep when your children
are young is an impossible dream
(that you never even get to dream because you never get to sleep).
You are constantly caring for others
and barely finding time for yourself to even eat or drink.
Taking a shower is a luxury
and barely finding time for yourself to even eat or drink.
Taking a shower is a luxury
of which a new mother dare not dream.
And on top of everything else you are constantly being climbed on,
having your hair pulled, small, sticky hands all over your face.
Personal space?
A mother doesn’t even know what that is.
I am sure most mothers understand the familiar concept associated with
new mothers of being “touched out” where you just want to sit, alone,
and have no one touch you after having
your personal space invaded all day, day after day.
Being a mom is hard
emotionally and mentally.
The constant worry, anxiety, not only about your child’s safety but about your
parenting decisions and whether or not you are raising them
properly can turn you into a bundle of nerves.
Giving your one hundred percent to your children only to have
them shout at you repeatedly, “Mean Mommy! Mean Mommy!”
makes you want to just curl into a ball and give up
since you are obviously a terrible failure as a mother.
Being a mom is hard because you have to let go when you aren’t ready,
you have to teach them when they don’t want to listen,
you are constantly being
watched and copied,
making your every action
and word incredibly important.
Being a mom is hard because
you have to stand your ground
at times when you simply want
to scoop up your child
and hold them close.
Being a mom is hard because there is no end at the end of the day,
no end at the end of the year, no end even at the end.
For all eternity I will be their mother.
Being a mom is hard. It’s tiring, draining, stressful,
demanding, challenging, exhausting, tough.
Ms. Thesaurus here could continue but I will stop.
I think you get the idea.
But for all that being a mom is hard, I love being a mother.
It is worth every strenuous second.
here's a poem i would like to leave with you:
Before I was a Mom
I made and ate hot meals.
I had unstained clothing.
I had quiet conversations on the phone.
Before I was a Mom
I slept as late as I wanted
And never worried about how late
I got into bed.
I brushed my hair and my teeth everyday.
Before I was a Mom,
I cleaned my house each day.
I never tripped over toys
or forgot words to lullabies.
Before I was a Mom,
I didn't worry whether or not my
plants were poisonous.
I never thought about immunizations.
Before I was a Mom,
I had never been pooped on,
Spit up on,
Chewed on,
Peed on,
Or pinched by tiny fingers.
Before I was a Mom,
I had complete control of myself;
My thoughts,
My body,
And my mind.
I slept all night.
Before I was a Mom,
I never held down a screaming child
so that doctors could do tests or give shots.
I never looked into teary eyes and cried.
I never got gloriously happy over a simple grin.
I never sat up late hours at night watching a baby sleep.
Before I was a Mom,
I never held a sleeping baby just because I didn't
want to put it down.
I never felt my heart break into a million pieces
when I couldn't stop the hurt.
I never knew something so small could affect my
life so much.
I never knew that I could love someone so much.
I never knew I would love being a Mom.
Before I was a Mom,
I didn't know the feeling of having my
heart outside my body.
I didn't know how special it could feel
to feed a hungry baby.
I didn't know that bond between a
Mother and her child.
I didn't know that something so small
could make me feel so important.
Before I was a Mom,
I had never gotten up in the middle of
the night every ten minutes to make
sure all was okay.
I had never known the warmth,
The joy,
The love,
The heartache,
The wonderfulment,
Or the satisfaction of being a Mom.
I didn't know I was capable of feeling so
much before I was a Mom.
- Unknown
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